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Monday, March 2, 2009

Marriages


A great marriage is not when the"perfect couple" comes together
It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

A daily dose of four kisses, three cuddles and one "I love you" may help keep a relationship alive, a survey has revealed.

Partners should also have a two-year age gap, share two hobbies and have sex three times a week, the Confetti.co.uk poll found.

Other secrets to a lasting liaison include two romantic meals a month, three nights of the week cuddling on the sofa together, regular contact, two surprise weekends away every year, one annual foreign holiday and two UK breaks, says The Daily Telegraph.

Researchers also found that two separate nights out with friends a month are advised to ensure some independence, and that the longest lasting relationships involve people who met through friends and who married after being together for three-and-a-half years.More than 3,000 married adults took part in the poll, which found that a man should ideally be two years and three months older than his partner.


John M. Gottman, a researcher, said his team found that there basically are three types of stable marriages.
The first is a husband and wife who routinely avoids conflict. When a difference of opinion arises, said Gottman, "they will never argue. They will listen to the other, but will not try to persuade." Such marriages, which he calls the "avoiders," may be unemotional and distant, but they endure.

A second type is a volatile relationship "like two lawyers in a courtroom," said Gottman. "They can argue at the drop of a hat. They are the Bickersons," he said. Such marriages tend to last even though there are frequent and impassioned arguments.
The third type of stable marriage Gottman calls the "validating" couple. They listen to each other, respect the other's opinion and only occasionally argue. "They pick the issues they fight about," he said.
Trouble in marriages comes when the couples are a mix of personalities that do not mesh in resolving conflicts. For instance, a husband who is a volatile arguer married to a wife who is an "avoider", or one who flees from disagreement, may be in marital trouble, he said.


122 comments:

Anonymous said...

In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather
than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts,
an enabler rather than a reformer.

Anonymous said...

The kind of marriage you make depends upon the kind of person
you are. If you are a happy, well-adjusted person, the chances are
your marriage will be a happy one. If you have made adjustments so far
with more satisfaction than distress, you are likely to make your
marriage and family adjustments satisfactorily. If you are discontented
and bitter about your lot in life, you will have to change before
you can expect to live happily ever after.

Anonymous said...

Its been 30 years of marriage. Based on my experience I wish to say to my husband "I didn't marry you because
you were perfect. I didn't
even marry you because I
loved you. I married you
because you gave me a
promise. That promise
made up for your faults.
And the promise I gave you
made up for mine. Two
imperfect people got
married and it was the
promise that made the
marriage. And when our
children were growing up,
it wasn't a house that
protected them; and it
wasn't our love that
protected them--
it was that promise and I love you"

Anonymous said...

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love,
and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.

Anonymous said...

Marriage--as its veterans know well--is the continuous process of getting used to things you hadn't expected. It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship
that makes unhappy marriages.

Anonymous said...

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

Anonymous said...

I pay very little regard. . . to what a young person
says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they
haven't seen the right person yet.

Anonymous said...

I'm very neat. My wife is messy--never picks anything up.
Doesn't even notice the mess--it's below her radar. I cured
myself from my annoyance with her by imagining that she had died
and then asking myself, "If you could bring her back to life but she'd
still be messy, leave clutter all over the house--5 pairs of shoes in the
living room, would you still want her back?" "Yes, for sure!"
And it cured me. Whenever I get annoyed
with her mess, I rerun the script.

Anonymous said...

"Then Almitra spoke again and said, And what of marriage, master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days,
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."

Khalil Gibran

Anonymous said...

People are often enamored with my Super Bowl ring. But it's
my wedding ring that I'm most proud of. And having a good
marriage takes even more work than winning a Super Bowl.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion;
it is also remembering to take out the trash.
All those "and they lived happily ever after" fairy tale endings need to be
changed to "and they began the very hard work of making their marriages happy."

Anonymous said...

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is tahtthe frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Guess this means I don't have to feel
so bad about my spelling. Also
makes me think we should be able
to apply this principle to marital
communication. Try to listen
for the meaning instead of nit-picking
at the fine points.

I was not the first to comment today and Im very sad. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

The Art Of Marriage
A good marriage must be created.
In the art of marriage the little things are the big things...

It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once each day.

It is never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is speaking words of appreciation and
demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is not only marrying the right partner. . .
It is being the right partner.

Anonymous said...

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up.

Anonymous said...

"Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be the shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be the warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness for you,
now there is no more loneliness.
Now you are two persons, but there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place
to enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon this earth."
Apache Blessing
I knew you would write about marriage because I was asking you the other day. So when have you decided to tie the knot with Reploid? ;))

Anonymous said...

The secret to happiness is this: Let your interest be as wide as possible,
and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you
be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.

Happiness is one of the most important aspect in a marriage. I'm happy with my wife bacause I prefer the happiness than bothering about trivial issues and wasting our time.

Anonymous said...

To be able to find joy in another's joy:
that is the secret of happiness in a marriage. Learn to be happy when your partner is happy. Show him/her that you are here for them.

Anonymous said...

Failure in marriage is not a single, cataclysmic event. We do not fail overnight. Failure is the inevitable result of an accumulation of poor thinking and poor choices. To put it more simply, failure is nothing more than a few errors in judgment repeated every day.

Now why would someone make an error in judgment and then be so foolish as to repeat it every day? The answer is because he or she does not think that it matters.

On their own, our daily acts do not seem that important. A minor oversight, a poor decision, or a wasted hour generally doesn't result in an instant and measurable impact. More often than not, we escape from any immediate consequences of our deeds.

If we have not bothered to read a single book in the past ninety days, this lack of discipline does not seem to have any immediate impact on our lives. And since nothing drastic happened to us after the first ninety days, we repeat this error in judgment for another ninety days, and on and on it goes. Why? Because it doesn't seem to matter. And herein lies the great danger. Far worse than not reading the books is not even realizing that it matters!

Those who eat too many of the wrong foods are contributing to a future health problem, but the joy of the moment overshadows the consequence of the future. It does not seem to matter. Those who smoke too much or drink too much go on making these poor choices year after year after year... because it doesn't seem to matter. But the pain and regret of these errors in judgment have only been delayed for a future time. Consequences are seldom instant; instead, they accumulate until the inevitable day of reckoning finally arrives and the price must be paid for our poor choices - choices that didn't seem to matter.

Failure's most dangerous attribute is its subtlety. In the short term those little errors don't seem to make any difference. We do not seem to be failing. In fact, sometimes these accumulated errors in judgment occur throughout a period of great joy and prosperity in our lives. Since nothing terrible happens to us, since there are no instant consequences to capture our attention, we simply drift from one day to the next, repeating the errors, thinking the wrong thoughts, listening to the wrong voices and making the wrong choices. The sky did not fall in on us yesterday; therefore the act was probably harmless. Since it seemed to have no measurable consequence, it is probably safe to repeat.

But we must become better educated than that!

If at the end of the day when we made our first error in judgment the sky had fallen in on us, we undoubtedly would have taken immediate steps to ensure that the act would never be repeated again. Like the child who places his hand on a hot burner despite his parents' warnings, we would have had an instantaneous experience accompanying our error in judgment.

Unfortunately, failure does not shout out its warnings as our parents once did. This is why it is imperative to refine our philosophy in order to be able to make better choices. With a powerful, personal philosophy guiding our every step, we become more aware of our errors in judgment and more aware that each error really does matter.

Now here is the great news. Just like the formula for failure, the formula for success is easy to follow: It's a few simple disciplines practiced every day.

Now here is an interesting question worth pondering: How can we change the errors in the formula for failure into the disciplines required in the formula for success? The answer is by making the future an important part of our current philosophy.

Both success and failure involve future consequences, namely the inevitable rewards or unavoidable regrets resulting from past activities. If this is true, why don't more people take time to ponder the future? The answer is simple: They are so caught up in the current moment that it doesn't seem to matter. The problems and the rewards of today are so absorbing to some human beings that they never pause long enough to think about tomorrow.

But what if we did develop a new discipline to take just a few minutes every day to look a little further down the road? We would then be able to foresee the impending consequences of our current conduct. Armed with that valuable information, we would be able to take the necessary action to change our errors into new success-oriented disciplines. In other words, by disciplining ourselves to see the future in advance, we would be able to change our thinking, amend our errors and develop new habits to replace the old.

One of the exciting things about the formula for success - a few simple disciplines practiced every day - is that the results are almost immediate. As we voluntarily change daily errors into daily disciplines, we experience positive results in a very short period of time. When we change our diet, our health improves noticeably in just a few weeks. When we start exercising, we feel a new vitality almost immediately. When we begin reading, we experience a growing awareness and a new level of self-confidence. Whatever new discipline we begin to practice daily will produce exciting results that will drive us to become even better at developing new disciplines.

The real magic of new disciplines is that they will cause us to amend our thinking. If we were to start today to read the books, keep a journal, attend the classes, listen more and observe more, then today would be the first day of a new life leading to a better future. If we were to start today to try harder, and in every way make a conscious and consistent effort to change subtle and deadly errors into constructive and rewarding disciplines, we would never again settle for a life of existence – not once we have tasted the fruits of a life of substance!

Anonymous said...

Compromise, if not the spice of life, is its solidity.
It is what makes nations great and marriages happy.In a nourishing relationship,
compromise is a foregone conclusion.Sometimes compromise is important. Sometimes it's better
to give in to someone else's wishes in order to have fun as a
group or as a couple, or for the benefit of the team. Sometimes
compromise is dangerous. We need to guard against compromising
our standards to gain the approval or love of someone else.
Decide when you can, and when you cannot, compromise. If it's
not harmful and you are ambivalent about a decision, then compromise.
If it could lead to breaking your values, compromise isn't a good idea.

Anonymous said...

Most Christians expect little from God, ask little,
and therefore receive little and are content with little. One should be happy in his marriage with the things he has rather than constantly searching for other things.Believe in God pray to Him that your marriage succeed. God bless everyone.

Anonymous said...

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."
William Shakespeare

Anonymous said...

Anything that is given can be at once taken away.We have to learn never to expect anything, and when it comes it's no more than a gift on loan. I loved my wife a lot. She passed away last week. We had 3years of togetherness.We were the life of each other.I loved and still love her.How much I try I cannot overcome the loneliness.I miss her a lot.we were too close to each other. we have a twin-girls aged 2 year old.Whenever I see them I remember all the wonderful moments with my wife.Today when reading your post I started crying I can only see my wife in front of me.I cannot touch her. I remember the first time we met.
It was a Friday.I love her a lot.Rachel...her name.It keeps an echoe in my mind.
I remember when we had sex for the first time. She was a Virgin. She was my girl..the one with whom I felt proud to be with everytime. She told me that She loves me a lot..then why she had to go? to leave me alone? to leave her kids without a mother?
Her fragrance is everywhere in the house.I can smell her in my arms, in our bedroom and whenever i try to close my eyes to sleep I can feel her goodnight kiss on my lips.
Sorry to be long but I cannot stop when I start talking about her. I'm in the kitchen right now writing to you..a person I don't know..I never met in my life..It is one in the morning the kids are sleeping but I cannot.I miss her so much. My tears are running down my cheeks it is good the children are sleeping and no one can see me crying. I got to be brave for them I know.
My wife used to prepare the breakfast sometimes i would wake up early to help her..to cuddle her in the kitchen I miss those moments.She went all of a sudden and left me.she likes gardenning,we got plants in the kitchen near to where im sitting..she used to shout at me.I miss that.I love her so much why she had to leave me?
I have my ring around my finger..

Reploid said...

Hi people! I totally agree with the fact that 2 persons who know each other 3 years or more before marriage, will have a stronger and better relationship. Independance is very important too. I'm not jealous when my girlfriend goes out on a vacation or with her friends. Well, i like to be independant too, that's why I understand this way of thinking. I can keep a relation going with great sex and great moments spent together. I enjoy my life and i think it's important to share our joy and not only sadeness with our partner. I prefer a relationship based on truth and understanding, i don't like monotony so, a person who is different from me but who share some common points of view is what fits me best. so we can both laugh and argue. a woman needs emotions, if you give the emotions she needs, then everything would be O.K. Cheers.

P.S A suprise gift to the woman, when she expects it the least will make your relationship last longer. Well, that's what I think a woman needs, a real man. who knows how and when to be romantic. buy her flowers only once a year, and when she least expect it, that will make her love you more and more. don't give out too much attention but make her feel secure and be a real man, a man who always lead.

Reploid said...

I think positive thinking is the best thing in a relationship. (and in life..)

Reploid said...

I think the elders, who shared more than 50 years of marriage can share profound insights.

Anonymous said...

I accept life unconditionally. Life holds so much..
so much to be happy about always.
Most people ask for happiness on condition.
Happiness can be felt only if you don't set conditions. In a marriage there should not be any conditions else it is bound to fail. You should love unconditionally. Without any expectation because when you get things unexpectedly as the previous commentor said then life seems all of a sudden beautiful and enjoyable to live with. A good partner is important to lead a long lasting marriage.Both partner should be mentally and physically well prepared for the next stage after the student life. They should be able to face any situations. And in any situations they should both hold the hands of each other to be powerful.

Anonymous said...

Let us live, while we are alive! Live fully every moments in life.I don't regret my marital life.I'm a widow for now more than 13 years and I remember only the good moments spent with my husband. I no more cry or repent but yes there are times when I wish he was next to be.

Anonymous said...

A bag of apples, a pot of homemade jam, a scribbled note,
a bunch of golden flowers, a coloured pebble, a box of seedlings,
an empty scent bottle for the children. . . .
Who needs diamonds and van-delivered bouquets?
Our marriage is lastime because we want it to last. Our children is the source of energy, whenever I look at them I see my efforts or our hard work of building this family we feel pround that we have succeeded and I just wish we continue in our life.

Anonymous said...

Forgiveness is not for the benefit of the person who caused wrong to you but it is your key to happiness and emotional freedom. So if you have to forgive in your partner in your marriage then don't hesitate but do it. If the situation demands your understanding of the situation and if you see that you can forgive the person then do it. What is the use to keep your ego at the top and lose everything because of this when you can reconcile by forgiving!
There are many times in life where me or my wife commits a blunder and we always think that as a human being we can err so we give time to forgive and forget and continue with our partner.This is the key to a successful relationship.You should not hold grudge for every little thing in life. If you do so then life would be miserable with that partner. Learn to adjust with each other.
Imagine both partners are similar in hobbies, activities and thoughts..how boring life would be. So it is important to get someone different as you and when you get that person then learn to cope with the person instead of finding faults in each other.
A successful marriage is not based only on love but many other things are needed to make it work till the end.

Understand this and your marital life is bound to stand firmly. It is a period in life where you learn form each other thus becoming each other's teacher in life. Know how to lead as a teacher. Sometime you have to be patient and sometime you have to be strict so all these are necessary for a long lasting marital life.
I wish you all the best for your marital life.

Anonymous said...

You must understand yourself enough to know what you want in life and what desires you believe are worthwhile for your future. You need to depend upon yourself and your talents. Appreciate others for their personal skills and abilities, but always continue to focus on your own strengths and energies. Life is much too short to spend it worrying about someone else's accomplishments or expecting someone else to be responsible for making your life better.

If you have dreams, then you have a purpose. You have something to believe in and work towards obtaining. Dedicate yourself to yourself. Promise yourself a life filled with love, and then whatever roads you travel will be the roads you want them to be.

Don't expect others to be responsible for your happiness and your success. You must take control and be in charge of your destiny and day-to-day situations. Take advice (most of the time it's free) and listen to what others have to say and what concerns they have; it's important to have different points of view. But always validate those words of wisdom with your own set of standards and make sure that the advice has meaning to your sense of reality.

At any time, you can decide to change the road you're on in life, take a new direction, follow a new trail. You are the only one who really knows what you want from life and if you're on the right road for you. You are the only one who can fulfill your dreams and receive the joys and happiness that come from reaching those aspirations and goals.

A marriage is not a two days planning but I will say it needs 2 or 3 years of knowing the person to lead a life with the person.

Anonymous said...

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level
of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with
respect, kindness, and generosity.People who do not
experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.

Anonymous said...

Each day is a lifetime in miniature.
To awaken each morning is to be born again,
to fall asleep at night is to die to the day.
In between waking and sleeping are the golden hours of the day.
What we cannot do for a lifetime we can do for a daytime.Anyone, can live sweetly,
patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down Finish every day and
be done with it. You have done what you could; some
blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them
as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you will
begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit
to be cumbered by your old nonsense.Start thinking like this and there you go a happily married life.

Anonymous said...

I've learned...
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

Anonymous said...

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it.

"She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.

"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.

I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

Anonymous said...

No one imagines that a symphony is supposed to improve in quality
as it goes along, or that the whole object of playing it is to reach
the finale. The point of music is discovered in every moment of
playing and listening to it. It is the same, I feel, with the greater
part of our lives, and if we are unduly absorbed in improving them
we may forget altogether to live them.

Anonymous said...

I am married with Mr X for 24 years. It is an arranged marriage.I was 18 years old when I got married to him.My parents said he was a good man and will keep me happy.I married him.I have three children.I am unhappy in my marital life.My husband betrays me several time I know everything but I cannot do anything I am hopeless.I don't work.I know our children will suffer a lot.I talked to my husband many times he says he will stop all these but he never stop all these affairs.I am fed up.I want to be free from this bondage.
I have decided to stop caring for him. I will live my life as I have always wanted.I will always be here for my children and I will never support my husband again.
My heart cries every day. I pray God he repent and realise what he has lost.I kept loving and sleeping with only one person in my life and thats my husband but now Im fed up with life.
He is no more in my heart.How can I sleep with someone who has slept with many others before coming to me?I feel despised when I think about him. I cannot totally blame my parents. Maybe they thought I will be happy with him.
He has turn my life a hell.But I will not stop living because of him I will show him that I can live under the same roof, with the children, with him without bothering about him.
I wish you get someone with whom you can lead a happy marital life.You are younger to me so I will tell you to do not rush and think well if you want someone to enter your life.

May that person keeps you always happy. May he never leaves you in the middle of the road. May he hold your hands whenever you are restless and cares for you whatever the situation. God bless you always.

Anonymous said...

This is surely one of the most powerful and most challenging lines in all of scripture. Note that Jesus does not say, "This is my suggestion." He does not say, "This is my recommendation." He does not say, "Here's a pointer that I think will help you out." He says, "This is my commandment: love one another."

Anonymous said...

Self-love implies the care, respect, and responsibility for and the knowledge of the self. Without loving one's self one cannot love others. But do not confuse self-love with self-centeredness.

Anonymous said...

A marriage is all about these :
At times along the way we stumble, we stub our toes, we scrape our knees. We may say or do things that hurt ourselves or others. A selfish act or careless remark may injure a lover or friend. And so we pause to examine the wound, apply the salve and journey on. As we learn the lessons of our journey and carry them forward with us, we become more agile, our feet more sure. We not only avoid the pitfalls, but the very path also gets easier. Even when it takes us over steep, rugged terrain, we must recognize that this, too, is a part of life's landscape. We must remember that such terrain is fleeting, that the scenery will eventually change. The rocks and ridges along the difficult parts of the path are strengthening us and preparing us for whatever lies ahead. And so each day of our journey we should affirm for ourselves: Whatever I find along my path, I will ask God how to use. As we encounter obstacles, let them inspire our creativity. If we lose a valued possession, let us recognize that God is clearing a space in our lives for something of greater value or, more important, reminding us to keep material things in their proper perspective so that we don't lose sight of our purpose in life: to embrace our divinity and learn to love.

Anonymous said...

I read a post written by you on quarelling couples well I would like to add that me and my wife we fight a lot and we patch up very easily too. Maybe it is one of the reason to keep our marriage alive.:)

med889 said...

Good Afternoon everyone.
My message will be for Mr Joan Nerburn Gracian.

I read your comment dear friend and I must admit that I am deeply in touch with all what you said.
I cannot stop thinking of all the facts in your comment. The reason is because many of the facts are similar to mine. For example, knowing someone for 3 years, likes gardening infact I have a plant in the kitchen too, he is the first man, I scold him( as he says: a lot), and I like to prepare the breakfast too.
If I wanted I could have simply avoid replying to you but...I feel I should because I want to share my feelings with you. I find myself in nearly all the facts you related about your wife.

I understand you.

If ever you feel to write to me do feel free.
I simply could not restrain myself writing to you. I even asked a question to someone yesterday : "If I'm dead tomorrow..what will happen" The first answer he gave me was "Hey don't talk about that"

Today -a few hours ago I asked him "Tell me why do you love me" He replied : as a first answer "I love you because I hope you will stop scolding me one day"

Maybe I wanted to hear something else. We don't know how much time we are left with. I don't want to miss some moments which I can get here. I'm not afraid to die but I wish from the bottom of my heart that I do something for Him before I go...

Medha.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for understanding me. I miss my wife and I will always miss her because in everything I do I remember how she was doing that. That person in your life must be lucky to get someone like you.

I could not complete my comment the other day as I was totally down. As a man I felt I was down but then the next day came with a new prospect and I started believing that I should be here for my daughters, for our daughters.

I hope maybe one day when you will ask him the question again he will give you an answer which you are waiting for.

Life is short and with the sudden death of my wife I realised that. So try to do many things in this life. I could not. My wife died in an accident. She was driving. I was somehow always worried when she was taking the car out. She was a housewife. Taking care of everyone and everything. She loved cooking and she wanted to learn chinese food as I like that but now I don't even think of chinese food.

My wife loved visiting new places. She was always telling me of a new palce she wanted to visit. Sometimes she kept on insisting that I take a holiday to take her out and due to work I was refusing I wanted to go but I was focussing more on work I thought "later, later" and how unfortunate I am because this "later" will never come.

I told her this November we shall go for a long holiday. I had applied for leaves in the company I didn't tell her I wanted to give her a surprise. But I didn't know life had reserved a forever holiday for her.

I donot regret the moments I spent with her but I regret the unfulfil moments I was planning to spent with her.

Anonymous said...

We all yearn for safety and security to some extent or another. We want the security of a regular paycheck that will meet our financial needs; we want the safety of a nice home that will keep us warm in the winter and safe from the elements and the bad people of the world. We want our children to be safe and sound, and we want to protect them from anything that may harm them. There's nothing wrong with safety per se: it's a typical human trait to want it, and when we are safe, we're free to focus our energies on other aspects of our lives. We're able to give more to our jobs and more time to activities that we enjoy. So how can something as basic as safety turn into an obstacle to living a full life?
That's easy and obvious--when safety develops into complacency and creates in us a sense of boredom, that's when we're facing a struggle with the very facet of our lives that we've strived so hard to achieve.
Learn to reconcile if there is a problem instead of drifting apart.

Anonymous said...

A ship in harbor is safe,
but that is not what ships are built for.
Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.

Anonymous said...

Prudence keeps life safe, but does not often make it happy. Thus I will say that it needs a lot to make a successful marriage. You just got to have will power. Believe in yourself if there are times you should accept defeat then accept it instead of letting your ego to take over. Know that by accepting defeat in life sometimes brings many victory.

Anonymous said...

Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more
fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot
of the great majority of our fellow humans. It then appears
that we are among the privileged.

I often find that married couples sometimes compare themselves with another married couples so this is not good Then only you see some quarels occurring because of comparison.

So one lesson to be learnt by heart is to never compare people. Never compare your husband with some other guys nor do the wife should be compared with other girls. It brings annoyment in a relationship.

Anonymous said...

Stop being too materialist in your marital life and you will enjoy a long lasting relationship. We're all materialists, to one extent or another. We all use and enjoy material goods in our daily lives, and most of us simply couldn't get by without them. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as the desire for material goods doesn't control us and our actions.
Materialism becomes an obstacle when we start allowing things (or the desire for things) to control us, to keep us focused on things outside ourselves rather than on things that would be truly beneficial to us, such as our spiritual selves, our relationships, our learning, our peace of mind. . . .

Anonymous said...

No doubt we would all agree with the sentiment: “There’s more to life
than things.” Yet much of our lives seem to be spent in the acquisition,
maintenance, and disposal of material goods. Certainly we cannot enjoy
the basics of food, shelter, and clothing without a concern for things.
The truly important things of life, however, are those which cannot be
encountered by the physical senses, purchased with money, or placed
on a shelf. When we take a look at what we value most in life, we generally
find family, friends, health, peace, contentment, laughter. It is wonderful when the one you love is next to you.

Anonymous said...

When I was young I had the desire to marry my prince charming. I met a man and we fell in love.After two years and three days he proposed me. I was like " oh my God.." and I said "yes".I was so happy.It is said that it is the greatest surprise in a woman life when her "man" proposes her. Yesterday we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Im happy, he is happy and i hope we shall always be happy in life. I wish you happiness too in your marital life.

Anonymous said...

The couple are best to say if whatever the research said is right or not. There are women who are older than theirs husband so I don't think all of them are having the worse marriages.It is own experiences. Im not telling you that you are not in this stage and you cannot advise people but since you are not married yourself and is interested to know what married couple are facing then I think again that you are doing a great job. Maybe if most youngters would have been like you then today there would never be a father aged 13 years old just like in England. I wonder how will that continue. I wish they will be ok but still "not married and father at 13 years triggers me"

All the best in your life.May you get a wonderful husband.

Anonymous said...

I know that you don't need to search for a good husband as Reploid is already here. Well just to say all the best in your life and do tell me when Reploid is proposing you for marriage. I know you both on your blog and I find you people a great couple. So I will be happy if you both will marry one day.

Anonymous said...

Getting married is once in a lifetime decision for many people. When people wish to get married, invariably all of them expect a full life together. Very few would think of marriage as a short-term exercise. Hence, it is very much necessary that all aspects of a life together be fully analyzed before tying the knot. Usually men and women tend to have different perspectives about married life. It would be better to have open and honest discussion to sort out the possible future irritants or at least understand them so that some sort of compromise could be arrived at

In short men marry women for the following main reasons.
The wish to continue the motherly love received in childhood.
Desire to have a lifetime companion.
The love the man has for the woman.
The woman having become pregnant by him.
To have a woman who has a similar career for easier adaptability.

So the reasons for a woman marrying a man can be enumerated as follows.

Wish to escape from parents.
Desire to have a lifetime companion.
Love for the man.
Having become pregnant by the man.
To have a man having a similar career for easier adaptability.

Anonymous said...

Marriage is good but for mature people.Infidelity is one more reason that could harm the institution of marriage. Both men and women, who are quite possessive, would be repelled when they come to know about extra-marital relationships, leading to separation. Physical incompatibility is the cause for break-up in several cases. Even loss of interest in sexual relationship after some time could lead to a break-up of the marriage. Finally, the conflict in tastes and interests that appeared insignificant before the marriage starts to take a larger picture in married life. Disagreements increase, resulting in final separation.

Anonymous said...

First off, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to give them. This way, you can see early in your first dates, if you wish to continue and work towards a future together, and if the other person feels the same of course.
Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both need to remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her personality? This will help not taking the other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and effort.
Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship. There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to mention it shows that you automatically assume the worst of them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter what the situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship, unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you (which would mean you need counseling or leave the relationship).

Honesty is also at the top of everyone's list when it comes to what people want out of a relationship. A person needs to know that they can trust their mate because it builds a zone of safety and comfortableness around them. They need to know that they can at least rely on their loving partner to tell them the truth, no matter what. Being human means NOT being perfect, which means we will make mistakes. Now, we should not let that fact lead us to making mistakes we already know are wrong ahead of time. If your partner deliberately makes mistakes or you knowingly make mistakes, it shows that you or your partner lacks respect and care for the other. This is unhealthy for the relationship. What is healthy however, is realizing that the mistake you committed is a mistake. You or your partner need to know that what they did was wrong and they need to feel the sympathy for what they did. Once you or partner have realized this, you can then figure out a way of how you will confess your wrong doings to the other.

Anonymous said...

Having a strong longing and passion for another is important, but is not enough fuel to keep the bond running. With friendship, your relationship will remain having that strength under all kinds of circumstances.

Anonymous said...

The only way you can live a happy and satisfied life, is when you start doing things that make you happy and satisfied. Sure, it sounds easy, and can be easy if you just remember to make yourself one of your top priorities. Too many people neglect themselves, feeling that it would be selfish if they took any time out to focus on their own being. While it is good to take care of others and other important things going on in your life, it is mandatory that you never forget about yourself. Discover who you really are and what matters most to you. Living a great life does not just happen. It requires, planning and following those plans to a life that reflects who you truly are.

Most people avoid planning goals and dreams in their lives because they may have a fear of committing to it or failing. They feel that by officially writing it down, they would actually have to go through with pursuing it. This is where you need to rate the importance of your life missions. What is most important to you? Is it losing a certain amount of weight? Getting your degree? Spending more time with your spouse or children? Whatever the reason or reasons may be, just write all of them down. You may feel that making a mental note of your goals and dreams is enough, but you could very well be setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. By writing it down, you will become a visual witness of those goals. Try writing them in an organizer, with a little reminder written in each day.

Setting deadlines for these goals would be a great way to assure they will be accomplished. Avoid disappointment by setting realistic deadlines. For example, if you wanted to lose 10 pounds, do not give yourself a week to do so. You will only torture yourself and become depressed when the week is over and see that you did not come even close to losing the 10 pounds. In fact, you may give up losing weight altogether because of the failure you experienced, simply because your deadline was unrealistic. Take some time everyday to look over your goals and remind yourself of how important they really are to you. Ask yourself why they are important to you too. Knowing that something is important is not enough. You must know the reasons behind the importance of the dreams and goals you have, so that your mind can see it more clearly and understand exactly why it is so necessary to go through with your missions.

Anonymous said...

Being a great boyfriend or girlfriend is different than being great spouse material. Many people assume that just because they get along great with their partners as boyfriend and girlfriend, that they will automatically end up married, living happily ever after. The sooner you find this out, the better, because it will really prevent a lot of confusion and heart ache later. However, even if you have been with your partner for many years, it does not mean you should stay in the relationship simply because you have been together for a long time. The first thing you need to do is understand what your goals are with your relationship. This way you will be fully aware of your expectations and standards and can then focus on your partner and see whether you two are on the boat or not.

So, how can you tell whether your partner is the marriage type?

Well, the signs are very clear to read, if you are just willing to see the truth and nothing but the truth, even if it is not always what you want. The first step in seeing this truth, is throwing your blinders away and to observe all angles of your relationship- not just the wonderful parts that you want to see. If you are the type of person who would like to settle down and get married when the time is right, then you are naturally going to want a partner who will have the same dreams and goals as you when it comes to love and relationships. While this is only natural, you should not assume that just because you are involved with your partner in a serious relationship that it will end in marriage. This is exactly why you must talk about this with your partner once your relationship reaches a comfortable enough point to talk about marriage and commitment.

Of course, there are some relationships where it is difficult to read your partner, due mixed signals. If you feel that your partner loves you, but are not really sure whether he or she will ever actually get married to you, then the following signs are what you should look out for:

Your partner tries to change the subject or brushes you off whenever you bring up marriage.

He or she tells you that marriage is not something that he/she is too crazy about.

Tells you that he/she wants to marry you, but keeps making excuses on why you cannot marry now and keeps you waiting for a long time (years).

Anonymous said...

Relationships often get stuck in a pattern, taking away all the mystery and excitement. Many assume that all relationship eventually loses all excitement, but this does not have to be true. Keeping each other interested and making sure your relationship is a never ending journey of discoveries will keep you and your partner close and always interested in each other. So be sure not to get stuck in a pattern and do not get lazy with your relationship. Remember to keep dating each other and trying new things that will have both learning new things about each other.
As a relationships get older and more mature, people tend to become too comfortable and confident that everything is okay and often begin to stop communicating like the used to. Many also assume that their partner should know everything about them by now and therefore they should not have to tell them anything. When the communication is lacking in a relationship, one or both partners start to feel alone and disconnected emotionally and begin to crave that close connection again. This is when a person can start noticing other people and becomes tempted to find someone outside the relationship who will give them attention and comfort they feel is lacking in the relationship. Make sure you always keep the communication between you and your partner open and that it is done on a daily basis, even if it is only something very simply and small being said.
Being good friends is essential for a relationship and it important to have a strong friendship along with the strong romance. However, as a relationship matures, people tend to focus more on their friendship and close connection and begin to neglect the romantic side of their relationship, causing the relationship to lose it�s spark and passion. This can cause one or both partner to feel tempted to cheat, because eventually, he or she will crave that romantic and sexual closeness and if he or she feels it is no longer possible or exciting with you, then cheating can occur to satisfy that desire and need for romantic/sexual connection.

Anonymous said...

Some couples are very romantic before marriage and once they get married they are less romantic. Why??It should not be like this. For example before they were never fed up of kissing infact they keep on finding new excuses to meet their companion to kiss but after marriage they are so rigid.

In order for a kiss to be lustful and magical, you must add some intensity to the moment. Before introducing your lips to the other person's lips, give yourself a moment to make eye contact with the person. This will make an official connection and will draw the two of you together. Acknowledging their lips with your eyes before you actually kiss them is also a turn on.

The secret to a perfect kiss is taking your time. By taking your time, it shows the other person that you are interested in exploring every little detail about them. So, never just rush into the open mouth kisses. Start with a closed mouth and gently press your lips against theirs and keep like that for a good 3 long seconds. You may then pull away, make eyes contact again and attempt a more passionate kiss.

A great way to start up an open mouth and French kiss is by gently introducing your tongue to the person. You can do this by slowly licking their lips while doing your closed mouth kisses. They will feel the texture of your tongue and gain the comfort and confidence to introduce their tongue to you. The two of you will then find yourselves kissing with open mouths.

You can make your kiss extra seductive by giving your partner's lips a little bite, just a gentle one, preferably on the bottom lip. Do not get carried away with it, but give it a try and see how he or she responds to it.

Though the lips are the best place to kiss someone, especially at first, it is not the only place. There are several places you can kiss and turn someone on. The neck, for example is a wonderful place to kiss and seduce someone. Kissing and nibbling on the ears is also considered a big turn on. As you explore, you will learn which places your partner enjoys being kissed on the most, by observing their reaction.


Everyone has his or her own style when it comes to kissing. Some enjoy keeping their eyes open, while others like keeping their eyes closed. Do what makes you feel most secure, but also make an effort to see how your partner feels most comfortable as well.

To make a marriage succeed we need to be very creative.

Anonymous said...

MEN want a woman who will nourish them and take care of them emotionally, just as we expect them to do for us. So always listen to him when he expresses himself and do your best to show that you care.

Last but not least, believe it or not, it is still important for a woman to be A good cook! There is nothing better for a man than coming home to a fresh, hot and home made dish on the table. They really admire the effort and time a woman puts into preparing a meal and they feel special and rewarded after a long day.

Anonymous said...

Relationships are not perfect and this is proven time and time again when couples go through troubled periods. It is difficult to understand how a relationship got so damaged when it started out so perfectly and happily. The truth is, all relationships will face disappointing and unexpected matters and there is nothing you can do to change it, but there are ways to properly deal with those matters without having to lose your relationship.

Anonymous said...

We sould be very romantic in a marriage.:-)

If you want your fantasies to become a reality, then you must introduce them to reality. Our partners are not mind readers, yet we tend to believe they are, expecting them to act out and the things we picture them doing in our imaginations. You do not necessarily have to ask your partner to act a certain way or do a certain thing, but you can introduce your romantic ideas by starting to act them out yourself. This will paint a clear picture for your partner, helping him or her see what kind of romantic personality you have, and what you enjoy. You will also learn more about your partner, because you will see their response to your romantic suggestions, which is why is it extremely important that you do this at the beginning of your dating process, or in the beginning of your relationship. If you do not, you could very well be setting yourself up for deep disappointment.

Romantic Dreams come true when you make an effort to never settle or anything else than what your genuine expectations are from a person. This does not mean you should never compromise however, for nobody will every perfect, including yourself, so keep in mind that there will be times where you will need to find a middle ground with your lover. Not settling for less is meant more on an obvious level. For example, if your romantic dream is to find a partner who loves long walks on the beach and going out for fancy dining and intimate picnics, then do not even bother getting seriously involved with a person who loves staying at home all the time or going out to loud parties with his or her friends. You will only be frustrated later.

Many people choose to get involved with a person who never really fulfilled their romantic expectations from the start, but feel that things will change as their relationship proceeds. This is a mistake often made and one you should avoid making if you ever wish to live the romance of your dreams.

It is important that you are also open and honest about your hobbies, lifestyle and romantic qualities so that your date also starts to learn who you really are as a person and can also decided whether or not they feel you are someone they wish to continue dating. If you do not wish to be misled, then do not mislead others either!

Living the romantic life of your dreams is indeed very possible, but requires time, patience and most importantly, being honest with others and yourself about who you really are and what you really want. Accomplishing true romance can only happen when you express yourself freely and confidently. Remember, no one can read your mind and there will be no magical wand that will wave over you. Fate will play a part in who you end up committing to and settling down with, but according for fate to do so, you have to help it out by showing it exactly what it is you are looking for. Fate is like a dating service in a way- in order for it to help you find the right person, you need to give it an honest description of what you are looking for and what you are also not interested it. Once you have done so, stick to it without settling for something you know you will not be 100% satisfied with. In time, you will be living your romantic dream come true with a person who feels the same and the two of you will have the wonderful relationship you have been searching for.

Anonymous said...

You should never take on all the responsibility in solving your relationship problems. You and your partner have to work together in finding the answers and agree to disagree. If you try figuring everything out by yourself, your partner will never understand what happened and why- and the problems will just come back.

Anonymous said...

the most common conflicts that couples have:

Jealousy
Mixed Messages
Lack of Direct Communication
Unresolved Misunderstandings
Stubbornness with accepting each other�s differences
Attempts to control the other
Walking away from arguments
Trying to change each other
Financial Disagreements
Views on Commitment and Marriage
No Trust
So start working on all these if you and your partner want a beautiful relationship after marriage.

Anonymous said...

The thought of having children and creating a loving family is a wonderful thought that almost every married couple comes across. Fantasizing about having children and actually bringing them into your lives are too different things however. Majority of people focus mainly on the thought of holding an adorable child and adding to the family tree, but bringing children into a marriage is something that needs to be taken into serious consideration before any decisions are made.

Both partners should be excited.
Talk about the responsibilities.
Ready to be a mother and father?
A marriage is about many things. If you marry then obviously the next target will be children.

Anonymous said...

My message is for Reploid( which I came to know through your blog.) Just to give you an idea :)

Before you reach the point of exchanging your vows, you will need to propose to your love and ask her if she will like to join you in life's journey. Proposing to your love will be a once in a lifetime opportunity, so you need to make it unforgettable!

Be a real romantic by placing a single red rose on your partner's pillow or personally deliver it to her! Tie the ring around the stem of the rose with a nice ribbon or string. If you are placing it on her pillow to find, you may set a note by the rose with an explanation of just how much she mean to you and how much you love her. Be creative and come up with your own original words. Then, in the most romantic words you can come up with, propose to her and tell her you want to be with her forever!

May God bless you both.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes lack of sexual activities is the cause of an unsuccessful marriage.
Go to the places you used to go to when the two of you started dating, to rekindle that new romance feeling. Book a hotel room for a night so the two of you are away from, with pure privacy and a new surrounding, which could very well mean a new experience! Touch each other and pay attention to the other's reaction to certain caresses. By paying attention and keeping an open mind, your sexual relationship can reach places you never though possibile.

Anonymous said...

We all dream about growing old with the person we love and living happily ever after.
Living Happily Ever After is very possible if you just know how to keep your marriage in good health. One of the main secrets to being happy forever is to always remember why the two of you fell in love in the first place. Remembering the good qualities in each other will always give you a reason to keep going, respecting and loving one another. You should collect and cherish the memories you have experienced always continue to collect more. Your life together is supposed to be a wonderful loving and exciting journey, so make an effort to keep it that way.

Being married is not just about the romance, but also about being partners. As partners you must take interest in each other's lives, such as careers and families. Not just showing interest, but contributing as well. You can contribute by being supportive and finding ways you can physically and mentally help your partner.

Although marriage is not all about romance, it does help keep the relationship exciting and new. Continue to go out on dates and share romantic experiences. By remembering to make romantic efforts, you will let each other know that you have not forgotten how beautiful and special they are. Everyone needs to feel beautiful and special!

Anonymous said...

Communication is one of the main ingredients to a beautiful and healthy relationship. To communicate is to exchange your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, critiques and other comments with another person. Without having such an exchange, a relationship will live in silence and soon drown in that silence, until there is no longer any kind of connection between the two of you. This is one of the biggest reasons a relationship ends and also a reason why some are lead to making bad decisions.

Anonymous said...

Share your opinions and thoughts about each other's social lives.

Anonymous said...

An emotional commitment is when you are there for you partner whenever he or she needs you and they are there for you as well. You make each other first priority in your lives and stay together through the bad times and even make certain sacrifices.

Anonymous said...

Love is a wonderful feeling and experience, yet will throw you many challenges and obstacles along the way. So think about marriage now.

Anonymous said...

It's necessary to evalute ur life from time to time to see where u stand.
"and to see what right or bad things u do or ppl u know keep the good things and ppl and get rid the bad thing or ppl." So take time to decide. I was too rush and today i'm no where.

Anonymous said...

I think you are right when saying that the man should be atleast two years older than you. Atleast you can learn form him too.

Anonymous said...

I am 4 years elder than my husband and I don't find that a problem.we love each other very much.love does not depends on age but on the feelings you have for the other people. I think so.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes married couples search for perfectionism in theirs lives and they turn to make theirs lives very difficult.

Perfectionism itself isn't necessarily a problem--there are many instances in which a perfectionist attitude can be desirable. If I owned a factory, I would be glad to have perfectionists working for me, for I would know that the quality of the product that we produced would be very high, indeed. The perfectionist rarely will bounce checks, for the checking account always will be balanced. The perfectionist in research won't let any possibility go unchecked, won't let any doubt go untested. In many cases, the perfectionist has an advantage over the person who is content to allow mediocrity to be the standard.
Perfectionism often becomes a weight around our necks, though, a burden that hurts us and the people we live and work with. When perfectionism becomes an obsession, or when a person expects everyone else to live up to his or her perfectionist ideals, then we have major problems--problems that hurt many people and that dim the lights of the lives of many people who must deal with the perfectionists

Unfortunately, when perfectionism gets out of hand, it has strong effects in two ways: first, on the perfectionist him or her self, and second, on the people who have to deal with the perfectionist on a regular basis. Perfectionists can be so critical of their own efforts that they're critical of themselves before they even start. I've known students who had this problem so bad that they wouldn't even start papers and would end up failing them when they didn't turn them in. Their logic ran thusly: It's not going to be good enough, so why even bother? They often expect their first drafts to be perfect "A" papers, even though most writing teachers stress the revision process that requires at least three drafts. When those first drafts don't get the high grades, they consider themselves to be "bad writers."

Those people who feel that everything they do has to be perfect are out of touch with two great truths in life: first, nothing's perfect, and second, almost nothing needs to be perfect. The first one's obvious, but the second one takes more thought. When we painted our living room, we got some blue on the white trim, and we got some white on the blue walls. It's not noticeable, though, unless you look very closely, and in the three years since we painted, not one person has even noticed the "flaws." No one cares. It's that simple, and it's that way for most of the things we do. Some people take hours perfecting something when it would have been perfectly acceptable with much less work. We could have spent a few more hours painting our walls to make them perfect, but the trade-off of our time for "perfection" wouldn't have been worth it.

When perfectionists affect others, though, things tend to get ugly. They become micromanagers, trying to control every facet of every process in order to make sure there are no errors, no mistakes. Everything has to be explainable and quantifiable, and everyone is held to the same standards, no matter what their job. I even have a book called How to Live with a Perfectionist, a title that illustrates the difficulties involved when "normal" people have to deal with abnormal expectations. This can be especially harmful for children, who always have unattainable expectations to live up to, and who can grow up with low frustration tolerance, unrealistic expectations of others, and many other problems that will harm them when they try to make and keep friends. Perfectionist take the light out of the brightest situations, and they take the satisfaction out of the tasks that we do because we love to do them. When standards get too high for normal, everyday situations, our normal everyday lives become trials rather than joys.

As Naomi Remen says:
perfectionism is "curable."
It's not something that we have to resign ourselves to as a permanent part of our lives. But we have to recognize it and deal with it effectively if we want to make our lives--and the lives of those who have to live and work with us--brighter and less stressful.

Anonymous said...

In a relationship Trust is very important. Especially in a marriage. Where you got to share your life with your partner. Give yourself a chance to let go of mistrust, and allow yourself the freedom that trust can give you. When you can trust, a huge burden is taken from your shoulders, for you no longer have to control every situation in your life. When people say "let go and let God," they're talking about trust, and the letting go of mistrust. It's not as hard as you think--start by trusting people with little things, and build up a history of people you've trusted having come through for you. You'll soon see that most of the people in this world are trustworthy, and that most of the "betrayals" we've gone through have been rather trivial in nature.

Anonymous said...

People marry because they want security. It is one of the reason why people marry. We all yearn for safety and security to some extent or another. We want the security of a regular paycheck that will meet our financial needs; we want the safety of a nice home that will keep us warm in the winter and safe from the elements and the bad people of the world. We want our children to be safe and sound, and we want to protect them from anything that may harm them. There's nothing wrong with safety per se: it's a typical human trait to want it, and when we are safe, we're free to focus our energies on other aspects of our lives. We're able to give more to our jobs and more time to activities that we enjoy.

Anonymous said...

We all have hopes and dreams in a marriage. We all go through times in our lives when we come up with ideas of things that we would like to accomplish in life, places we would like to be in the years ahead. It's a natural human tendency, it seems, to come up with an ideal that we would like to fulfill in our futures.
But what happens when the years go by and those dreams never come to fruition? What happens when we find ourselves, years later, in a situation that's so far removed from our ideal that we can only think that we've somehow failed, that we haven't accomplished our life's desire? It can be a very devastating experience.

Let your heart guide you--if it tells you to stay, that's where you're supposed to be, and make the most of it. If it tells you to go, then take the risk and make the most of that.

For example : If your heart says you should get married to Reploid one day then work hard for your relationship. BUT if your heart says that in the long run he will dissapoint you then right now take a step forward to forget him. I accept it won't be easy but you will be happy after.

Anonymous said...

Marriage is a sweet. Those who has eaten it regret and those who has not eaten it regret too. So better eat and regret.

Anonymous said...

Im married for two years with Mr X. We loved each other before marriage. It was a love marriage. I was blindly in love with him I must admit. I rejected my family to go and sette with him.My friends and family were totally opposing but I could only see his love for me.

I trusted him. I don't deny that he loved me too. After marriage all changed. Life is difficult with him now. I cannot go to my family nor to my friend's place. Im rejected everywhere because I married him.

He has changed. He is no more the guy I loved.

When I saw your blog and your post i was curious and then I entered. When I saw Patricia's comment I could understand that you got someone in your life too. You are not married so I said I would
better share my feelings with you.

I am much older and A request Please do consider my opinion. I don't know things about you but I just wanted to share mine.

Sorry if you don't like it but I feel i should say. Listening too much to the heart is sometimes not so advisable. It make you do things which later you yourself you don't believe as I do. So use your brain rather. If you have a happy relationship now its nice and you have to see if this happy relationship will continue with the person in your life.

Anonymous said...

A great marriage is not that difficult as others are trying to say. Suppose you love someone for some years before marriage. Instead of just roaming here and there a couple should start planning their lives together to see if it will work after marriage.

And yes a marriage gives name to a relationship. So it acts just as a shield nothing else. A couple should continue all theirs activities as before instead of worrying a lot. Love shall keep going as before.

Why should there be any change? I do not think there should be changes after marriages.

A marriage is not a horrible thing to make people fear about. It is just a formality if you like to say that.

A couple should respect, care, love, have sex, share secrets and have fun as before. It is so easy. So why making marriages a big deal.?

It is so simple though!

Anonymous said...

Don't marry Ok marry no don't marry ok marry haha haha

Anonymous said...

If I try to be like him, who will try to be like me?

Anonymous said...

If you stand up and are counted, you may get yourself knocked down.
But remember this: A person flattened by an opponent can get up again.
A person flattened by conformity stays down for good.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it ironic that in places where individualism and uniqueness are celebrated and considered to be of primary importance, we tend to lead our lives looking for conformity and "fitting in"? I can't tell you how many times I hear students tell me "I can't do that because society says I can't." And not once has any of these people been able to tell me just who "society" is, and just who says they can't. The truth is, we're much more afraid of what we think "society" will say than what other people actually will say. We tend to repress our own wants and needs because we fear that others will see us as selfish or self-absorbed. But when am I more effective in helping other people? It's when my needs are being met, and I'm taking care of myself. It's when I listen to my inner self and actually heed its message, taking time for myself or reading what I need to read or not overwhelming myself with obligations. We're taught to listen to our parents, to our elders, to our teachers, to our bosses, to our leaders, but we're rarely taught to listen to ourselves. It's time that we learn that lesson ourselves, for it's a very important one whether it's taught widely or not.

In a marriage you learn a lot. Things you learn always remember because situation keeps on repeating. I wish you all the best in your marriage.

Anonymous said...

The day you will marry I'm sure you got to think very well. It is very important in a person's life. Do not rush as you can find yourself trap in a certain illusion of fantasies.Believe in your instincts they are true mate.But a marriage should both be taken practical and emotional. So entire life will be based on that.

All the best my dear.

Anonymous said...

Most people I know don't covet anything. Being covetous is an aberration, I've found, but one that's extremely strong when one has the quality. Being covetous seems to be the embodiment of dissatisfaction, with oneself and with one's situation and/or material possessions. The people I've met who have been covetous have been dissatisfied with almost everything about themselves, and they've been miserable because of it.

When somebody else has something that we want, the "mature" person realizes that he or she would like to have that thing, but--oh, well--he doesn't, or she doesn't, and that's that. Maybe someday I'll go and buy it or work hard to earn money to be able to buy it, but for now, that person has it and I don't, and life goes on. The covetous person, on the other hand, becomes obsessed with the idea of having that something that someone else has, whether it be a new car, a new wife or boyfriend, a new dress or jacket--whatever. That obsession leads to dissatisfaction, as most people see it.

But that obsession is also born of dissatisfaction. A person who's satisfied with whatever he or she has won't become obsessive about something that someone else has. We might admire it or wish we had it, but our happiness isn't at risk when we see something we want but can't have. Dissatisfaction comes from many sources--low self-esteem or poor self-image, feelings of inferiority, feelings of isolation or loneliness, pain suffered at the hands of someone else or ourselves--the list could go on almost forever. But somehow or another, the person lets his or her self-image and idea of self-worth get wrapped up in this thing or person or object, in the idea of possessing it.

I believe that if we're going to deal with covetousness, we must look at it as a symptom, not as a trait itself. It's great to say "Thou shalt not covet," but we need to ask why we're coveting. We need to examine the ideas and ideals that the person who covets holds dear. We need to look at the whole package, not just the covetous behavior itself. The best thing we can do for a person who covets is not just point out the fact that he or she is doing something he or she shouldn't do, but to help them find out why they're doing so. If they believe that people will admire them more if they were married to a certain person or driving a certain car, we need to let them know that we admire them already for exactly who they are. They don't need to be anything else.

If you covet, ask yourself why, for the behavior is holding you back from getting the most out of what you already have, and this life we live. If you believe that having a certain thing or person will affect how others view you, know that acceptance or admiration based on material possessions is superficial and fleeting. You may get a few comments at first, but true admiration is based on character, and character is never reflected in the material or superficial. Character is who you are, how you treat other people, and whom and how you love. Be you, and be satisfied with that. Always work to improve what and who you are, but never feel that you'll be better for having some thing. You are who you are for a reason, and the world needs you to be just who you are, and to be that person to the best of your ability.

Anonymous said...

two people in a couple should not be arrogant with each other.
Be arrogant if you wish. Look down on others and treat them poorly, if you wish. But realize that if you do so, you're only allowing your own inner weaknesses to shine through, and you're not fooling anyone. Not the people around you, who hold you in disdain, not the God who made you and loves you and knows all about you, and not yourself.

don't have nearly as much of a problem with arrogant people now as I used to. I used to take their arrogance personally, as if it meant something to me when an arrogant person treated me as an inferior. Now, though, I realize that arrogance is merely a mask for people who feel even more inferior than I do. The only way they've learned of compensating for their own insecurities is to put others down, to try to make them feel like crap, so that they can feel better themselves. Redfield touches on this dynamic in The Celestine Prophecy--by putting others down, they're draining energy from them, and taking it for themselves.

I don't give them the satisfaction any longer. An arrogant person can't make me feel bad any more, because it's so easy to see through them once you know that they're faking it. They've put on this mask because they fear that others will see through them, will understand that no, they're not happy. I see arrogance as a sad state now, a state in which people try to hide behind their money or their breeding or their social standing or their positions of "power," but a state in which they'll never be able to let their true selves shine through.


And for those who must deal with arrogance on a regular basis, please keep in mind that arrogant people treat you poorly only because they're needier than you, and they haven't yet admitted to themselves that they are needy. They need and deserve your compassion, not your anger.

When people are most sure and arrogant, they are commonly
the most mistaken, and have then given views to passion,
without that proper deliberation and suspense which can
alone secure them from the grossest absurdities.

Anonymous said...

It seems to be a part of human nature for us to want to control situations in our lives and the lives of others. In a marriage it is most of this kind. After all, we want to be helpful, to help others by making sure that situations work out well for all involved. And sometimes it seems to us that the only way that we can make things turn out okay is by taking over and controlling that situation ourselves.
We simply fear being out of control. We fear watching things and events spiral out of control, harming us and those people we love. We fear facing a situation in which we have no control, and we fear situations reaching that point, so we try to "make sure" that nothing in our lives ever gets that far.

This fear, though, comes from a lack of confidence or faith in life and in God, whatever you perceive God to be. Life has been going on for many, many years without our input, and it's been going along fine. In fact, it seems clear that life has a harder time doing its thing the more we interfere with it. We're not willing to let the river flow as it will--we want to make sure that we control the amount of water that's flowing, the direction in which it flows, and when it stops and starts flowing. If we can do that, we can make sure that the river never will overflow its banks, and we can be sure that no one will be hurt by the river.

But the river's not under our control.

Trying to control life is a losing battle from the beginning. It's important that we step back and see whether our influence (not control) may be helpful or useful in a given situation, but if we constantly try to make sure that everything turns out fine, we will fail time and time again. Isn't it important to use our strength and power in situations in which we truly do have influence (in our jobs and relationships, for example, focused on our own actions) rather than in ways that are doomed to be wastes of that energy?

Anonymous said...

Our tendency is to run from the painful realities or try to change them
as soon as possible. But cure without care makes us into rulers, controllers, manipulators.

Be strong to each other. Be the support to each other. Be the confident to each other. Be the life to each other.

I sincerely wish your marriage becomes a successful one.

Anonymous said...

Befriending life is less a matter of knowledge than a question
of wisdom. It is not about mastering life, controlling it
or exerting our will over it, no matter how well intentioned
our will may be. Befriending life is more about
harmlessness than it is about control.

Never think of controlling your partner and think of being with the person side by side.

Anonymous said...

We don't want to give the controls to someone else; we
want those reins ourselves. We want to get our way. And
we get upset when things don't work out. . . . When we
try to control someone else or events beyond the scope
of our power, we lose. When we learn to discern the
difference between what we can change and what we can't,
we usually have an easier time expressing our power in
our lives. Because we're not wasting all our energy
using our power to change things we can't, we have a
lot of energy left over to live our lives.

HAVE A wonderful marriage.

Anonymous said...

If you want to run the show, God will let you. If you want to pull all
the strings, that’s up to you. If you want to insist that what you
are doing is the way it should be done, even when you are not
getting anywhere, go right ahead. God will let you run yourself ragged,
if you choose to do so. Unfortunately, you may not always be aware that
you are in God’s way. . . . God has no need to prove to you what God can do.I pray to God your marriage stand firmly.

Anonymous said...

The sun will set without your assistance.

Welcome each day of your marriage as a new day.

Whatever happen had to happened so why waste time to think about it.

AS the sun sets or rise be like it.

When there is a problem let the problem die like the sun sets and when you wake up the other day then be like the rising of the sun.

Anonymous said...

A marriage where there are no conflicts at all are most likely to fail.

Anonymous said...

confidence never comes if we have all the answers, but it comes when we are ready for all the questions.
Marriage is the same.

Anonymous said...

One can think better when the mind is calm so when there is a fight one should always think with a calm mind so that there are positive thinkings.

Anonymous said...

Every problem contains within itself the seeds of its own solution.
"keep digging & u'll find it!"

Anonymous said...

The Best PredictoR of F U T U R E is the P A S T Behavior..
"the Best .. NOT the Only though.. it is a very good indicator.."
SO the day you are bound with the other half you should mould your life accordingly so that in the future of your marriage you may not encounter difficulties. I like your way of writting. Keep it up.

Anonymous said...

never take sides in a Conflict you know nothing about.
"& become part of the problem - listen & analyze for both sides.."

Anonymous said...

Marriages? Well good for people who are well prepared for it. All the best in your marriage.

Anonymous said...

it is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do.

med889 said...

Hello Everyone. It is wonderful to receive so many comments. Thank you.

As I stated a great marriage is indeed not when the "perfect couple" comes together but it is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

I am with someone very different compared to me and today I can maintain that it is this difference which is binding us together.

I have also encountered many discussions in my life with him however I have learnt through each discussions that we can go further if we understand each other. So understanding is one of the most important factor.And discussions are very important too.

There have been many people who have tried to seperate us but there were and are a willpower which is in us that make us stand side by side. Trust your partner. And he will trust you.

We have chosen a difficult road, there are many torns along the road, and sometime there are some circumstances in which we have to walk in the torns. It is discouraging but when the person is holding your hand along the way then torns are seen to be flowers. So here i am referring to loyalty towards each other. If you have decided to lead your life with the person then never leave in half way.

Friendship is essential too. So that you can communicate very easily in your couple. The basic of our couple today is friendship. And we have seen that we can go ahead with this basic. We communicate in every subjects. There are for and against in mainly all the topics and this is vital and very interesting too. Your life will not be boring like this.

We quarrel, discuss, share, and love. For a couple to function there should be many ingredients incorporated. Only love will not make a relationship grow.

Whether the person is older than you or younger..I believe this is secondary however he should be able to understand the gravity of a relationship else no need to go further with him.

We listen to each other, respect the opinions of each other and then we argue if it is necessary. I found during my research that girls tend to ask many questions in theirs relationships. I found it weird but then I began to understand why.

My conclusion is that more often girls need to feel secure. Leaving everyone for only ONE is not always easy. So to feel everytime that the person with whom she is, is infact the right one they tend to ask questions. The moment they get an expecting answer then they stop asking such questions. So boys out there can try to understand why this is so now.

For a relationship to grow there should be two intelligent people who can cope with each other, listen and understand each other, love each other truly, able to argue in every topics, stand side by side no matter what others say, stay firm in your decision of being together, and always think of reconciliation instead of seperation.

I thank all of you for your comments.

Medha.

Anonymous said...

I will rather give some tips for happy marriage or happy relationship.:
At the movies, share the armrest.

Squeeze toothpaste on your partner's toothbrush when you're doing your own.

Compliment your mate in front of friends or family.

Put down everything to greet your spouse at the end of the day.

Make a snack for both of you before bedtime.

Buy an "I Love You" card and mail it to your spouse at work.

Make plans to re-create your first date.

When one of you is indoors and the other outside, knock on the window and blow a kiss.

Hold hands instead of holding the remote control.

Hide love notes around the house where your spouse will find them.

Shower together and wash your spouse's back.

When your mate lies down on the couch, get him or her a pillow.

Get to know your in-laws.

All the best.

Anonymous said...

Time really does fly. We were looking forward to a significant anniversary—our 50th—in just a little more than a year. Like most couples, we'd always celebrated our anniversary—sometimes routinely, other times with more pizzazz. Fifty years, we agreed, deserved something special. So we decided to mark the occasion with 50 celebrations scattered over the 12 months prior to the "big" day.

That's a lot of celebrating! We wondered if we could come up with, or even afford, 50 celebrations in a single year. But we decided to put our reservations on the back burner and go for it.

we know that celebrations are at the heart of a lively relationship. Marriage researchers have found that for a lasting and satisfying relationship you need at least three or four positive experiences for every negative one, so you can't celebrate your marriage too often.

Celebrations don't have to be expensive, elaborate, or exotic.

Live your marriage fully with your partner.

Anonymous said...

Over 1,000 Americans were recently asked "What do you consider to be very desirable for your future?"

Here's what they said:

91% good health
81% living with a high degree of integrity
79% having one marriage partner for life
70% having a close relationship with God
63% having a satisfying sex life with marriage partner
55% having children
53% being deeply committed to the Christian faith


So a relationship is also one of the priority.

Anonymous said...

Doing thing together is very good :
My husband and I are an unlikely decorating match to begin with. I brought color to our union: bright orange and neon green, to be exact, a color combination I can explain only by saying I was the last girl scout to choose my fabric on patchwork pillow-making day, and it seemed to me after investing so much time in hand sewing, I was committed.

Mark brought to our marriage the sophisticated taste and affluence of your typical college man: a basketball hoop laundry hamper, slatted wooden crates that grocery stores use to sell lugs of fruit and a collection of dark wooden objects decoupaged with American eagles that I can classify only as "paperweights."

A family therapist might see the merging of our two childhood bedroom sets as an abstract metaphor for the oneness of marriage.

Anonymous said...

Marriage experts recommend a regular date night to maintain a healthy, growing marriage. The old standbys—"dinner and a movie" or "pizza and a video"—are great as long as the movie doesn't leave you feeling like you need a shower. That's why it helps to think about what types of movies do the most for your marriage.

1. Use common sense.

2. Know yourself and your spouse.

3. Be honest.

4. Don't get your motor runnin'.

5. Consider the outcome.

6. Examine the message.

7. Avoid tunnel vision.

8. Value your time together.

Anonymous said...

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide that your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”

Anonymous said...

Women in today’s society are told they can have it all. The price, however, is the stress of doing it all. When our resources fall short of our demands we feel stressed out and resentful. On-going stress damages our relationships and erodes our physical health.
According to Dr. Dean Ornish, foremost researcher on reversing heart disease, “Emotional stress plays an important role in just about all illnesses.”
In a marriage it is important to de-stress yourself whether men or women.

Anonymous said...

A good marriage isn't necessarily an easy marriage. Take, for example, our friends Dan and Debbie. They fell desperately in love during high school and got married in college. The intoxication of young love was intense, but so was the hangover when infatuation wore off. Both came from divorced parents, so they had few good role models of happy marriages. Both were stubborn and willful. Lots of days they just didn't like each other and wondered whether they should be married at all. So many members of their extended families had divorced that failure was almost expected. They felt quite alone.

Yet today, 25 years later, Dan and Debbie make one of the best marriages we know. Their differences complement each other. They encourage and strengthen many others through their hospitality and outreach.

How did they make it? The answer has to do with faith. During their high school years both had come to trust in Jesus Christ. In fact, their faith drew them together in that intoxicating love. Through their struggles, they lost the intoxication but not the faith. They held on to the conviction that God loved them. They believed God wanted them to persist—and they were deeply committed to following God. That gave them the extra strength they needed. They came out tested and strong.

When we see people struggling in their marriage, this is our message, before any other: God is for you as a married couple. Too often your friends and family aren't sure. When they recognize the depth of your differences, they may stand back and wait to see if you self-destruct.

Anonymous said...

I am convinced that many problems in marriage could be avoided by adding one simple ingredient—proper rest. And what better place to experience the rest so desperately needed than in your own bedroom?

Ask yourself this: When you step into your bedroom and close the door behind you, is what lies before you dreamy or frightening? The atmosphere you create in your bedroom can greatly affect your marriage relationship. As you make your bedroom appeal to the five senses, you and your spouse will be drawn there. And the more you are drawn there, the more you will bring balance into your life and marriage.

Most rooms in your home can and should be multi-purpose. The master bedroom, however, is not one of them. Your bedroom's sole purpose should be for rest and romance. No matter how limited the space in your home, make your bedroom a peaceful refuge.

If possible, decorate your bedroom before focusing on the rest of the house. It will provide a pleasant place to escape and bring patience to your partnership as you tackle other decorating tasks in your home.

• Choose colors that are soothing and satisfying to you and your spouse. Blue is peaceful. Yellow is cheerful. Red is passionate. Green is fresh. Beige is natural. The fewer colors used, the more soothing your bedroom will be.

• Clear your mind by clearing the clutter. Remove anything from your bedroom that does not lend to a peaceful atmosphere.

• Save your pennies and buy a beautiful bed. Place it at center stage in your room.

• Have a few pieces of attractive, comfortable nightwear

Pleasant scents can put even the most weary bodies and souls into a wonderful state of mind. Skim through Song of Songs and you'll see pleasant fragrances played a potent part in satisfying those love birds. Try it for yourself.

• Turn down your bed sheets and sprinkle them with fragrant talc or spritz with linen spray.

• Slip a fragrant sachet into your dresser drawer for sweet-smelling nightwear.

• Place a single stem of a fragrant flower in a simple bud vase beside your bed.

• Insert a scented oil plug-in into an electrical outlet and fill your bedroom with a pleasing fragrance.

• Spritz a light spray of perfume or cologne on before crawling into bed.

All the best Miss Medha. And try these in your bedroom I am sure Reploid will like it.

Anonymous said...

A couple revived their marriage and the wife later wrote:

“This is the best thing that ever happened in our marriage. I have so much love for my husband—more than ever before. It’s the first time I have been able to tell anyone anything and feel it’s okay. There is so much more trust. There was so much unfinished communication that is now finished. Now I know that if anything comes up, our communication can handle it.”

Anonymous said...

“My boyfriend and I had been going out for several months and everything was going great, but then he started to have doubts and reservations and things between us became very strained. I was very upset over this and tried all sorts of things to get us back together again. It seemed the more I tried, the worse it got. A friend got me to read The Components of Understanding, and went over how to apply the steps in the booklet with me. At first I was very skeptical as nothing else had worked, but I was desperate, so I thought, OK, I try it and see. I called him on the phone and instead of crying or pleading as I normally had been doing, I got him to talk about the things that I knew he loved and was interested in. We only talked for a few minutes, but it was the best conversation we’d had in ages! So, encouraged by this, I reread the booklet and the next day met him and we talked more about mutual interests and goals and things that we shared together. Gradually, with no pressure, the natural affinity we had for each other got resurrected and even stronger than before. Now we are planning our future together and really working together on what we want to achieve in life which is really exciting. Thank heavens for that booklet otherwise we would not be together today.”

Anonymous said...

Why are some people ill more often than others? Why are some accident-prone? And is there a reason others live their lives on an emotional seesaw, doing well one day and badly the next?

There is an explanation, and it has nothing to do with the gods, fate or the position of the stars. In fact, the actual reason behind these phenomena—and their resolution—has been explained in Scientology.

L. Ron Hubbard was able to see through the complexities of human behavior and discover the underlying factors which explain the phenomenon of suppression in people—for it is suppression by others that causes these seemingly haphazard events.

Anonymous said...

What would you consider is the basis for building an effective relationship involving two or more people? 1 Corinthians 1:10 gives the answer. “I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (KJV).

That’s two people whose hearts beat together; their minds work together, their plans are the same, and their objectives are the same. That’s cooperation, and that’s how marriage should work.

But the normal kind of relationship between two or more people today is competitive, not cooperative. One partner has an idea on how something should go, and the other partner has their idea on how it should go. Does that sound familiar?

This condition is described in Isaiah 53:6 as selfishness. The actual verse says, “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way.” You can’t build an effective relationship until you come to grips with this tendency of selfishness. Selfishness often happens whenever a decision has to be made between you and your partner. You don’t even have to work at it.

Talking it over, thinking there just needs to be more understanding, probably won’t work. It can just solidify your opposition to the other’s viewpoint, because the more you understand their viewpoint, the less you appreciate it. Maybe you try talking it over with friends. That too probably won’t work, for the same reason that just you and your partner talking it over didn’t work.

So when it comes to you both trying ways of coming to the right decision, and none work, you have to face the fact that you’ve hit a stalemate. You also have to face the fact that somebody has to have the last word and be the leader, or the problem won’t be solved. That’s a tough conclusion to come to, because even though you’ve tried ways to solve the dilemma, nothing has really changed. Why? You each still want your own way. You are still competing.

What is it that introduces the competition you still find yourselves involved in? It’s that selfish attitude that is still in control. Selfishness is the great hindrance to cooperation.

But you don’t need to be stuck there, in that spirit of selfishness. You just need a Savior. You need to surrender your competitive nature to God and let him give you an attitude of cooperation.

Unknown said...

Marriage is being there for the other in bad times as well as the good.
Married love stands through thick and thin, no matter how hot the trials or how hard the test. Married love never loses hope. It's always there, always dependable, always ready with outstretched hands and open arms to take the other in--to love, to comfort, to hold, and to cherish. Marriage is learning to let the little things pass.

Unknown said...

Marriage is being there for the other in bad times as well as the good.
Married love stands through thick and thin, no matter how hot the trials or how hard the test. Married love never loses hope. It's always there, always dependable, always ready with outstretched hands and open arms to take the other in--to love, to comfort, to hold, and to cherish. Marriage is learning to let the little things pass.

Reploid said...

A Marriage is based on two people understanding each other and who cares for each other.

Reploid said...

This was great post, thanks for sharing your opinions.

Aree Bettermenn said...

marriage very complicated.

Tikno said...

Since Love was blind, then a proverb saying: "Marriage is like gambling games. If you get the "Ace" card then you are lucky, if not, accept it with a great soul because, however that is not an end".