Women are complicated..
"They are meant to be loved and not understood"....as someone said. The more you try to understand them the more you tend to forget yourself. You will never be able to know what there is in their heart.
But I believe men are complicated too..
" Try to understand them and you are bound to go mad" ...as someone again said. How much you may believe that you know them but the fact remain that they are and will always be an alien to you.
However what I found during my research is amazing.
Quarrelling couples live longer:
London: Having a blazing row with your spouse could be the secret to a long life. A study has shown that a good fight with your other half may be good for your health.
Husbands and wives who bury their differences and keep the anger inside are likely to die earlier than those who let the sparks fly, researchers found. This is because trying to resolve conflict — even in a heated manner — is better for your health than bottling up tension, they argue.
Husbands and wives who bury their differences and keep the anger inside are likely to die earlier than those who let the sparks fly, researchers found. This is because trying to resolve conflict — even in a heated manner — is better for your health than bottling up tension, they argue.
During the study, 192 couples — differentiated into four categories — were kept under observation for over 17 years. The first category consisted of couples where both partners communicated their anger, the second of couples where the husband showed anger while the wife suppressed it, the third comprised couples where only the wife showed anger and the fourth where both parties suppressed it.
It was found that during the period of study death was twice as likely in the fourth group as compared to the chances of other three.
The results held good even when other factors such as age, smoking, weight, blood pressure, bronchial problems and cardiovascular risk were taken into account.
The results held good even when other factors such as age, smoking, weight, blood pressure, bronchial problems and cardiovascular risk were taken into account.
"When couples get together, one of their main jobs is reconciliation about conflict. Usually nobody is trained to do this. The key matter is, when the conflict happens, how do you resolve it," Ernest Harburg, professor emeritus at the University of Michigan School of Public Health, which conducted the study, was quoted by Daily Mail as saying.
"When you don't, if you bury your anger, and you brood on it and you resent the other person or the attacker, and you don't try to resolve the problem, then you're in trouble," he said.
Professor Harburg stressed that the preliminary figures are small, and that researchers are now collecting follow-up data spread over 30 years.
10 comments:
I wonder why it is like this.We always fight and the moment we are in bed we forget every quarel and it seems that our love become stronger and stronger.I think it is the difference which make our relationship so concrete.
15 years of marriage.I have seen both thunder and lightning with my husband.But I must admit that we are still together because of all these patch ups after quarelling.
When couples quarel they should not say that the best way is to seperate but try to remain calm and understand your partner.
More often couples who are seperated find it strange as they cannot find the real cause of their seperation.It is because when they were fighting they were only thinking of seperation.
Me and my husband we do fight but we never think of seperation because we have chosen each other so we feel proud of that and we respect each other so much that even after fighting we tend to say that'it was my fault and not yours'
It is so funny at times but I just love him..yeah even after so much quarels in those 15 years.
All the best for you if you are in a couple.Do consider my opinion.Never think of seperation but think of conciliation.
I have been married to my husband for the past 29 years.I got two children.I would say that it is those quarels which made us still together today.I like Mrs Batry's comment.
You have to patch up like kids.I remember when me and my husband were quarelling in the kitchen one day.I even thrown spoon on him and he was so angry that he broke my favorite flower pot.I didnot talk to him for i think 2 days.
The day after he came in our bedroom,i was sitting on the bed reading a book, he said he has something to show me i didnot reply i was still annoyed but somewhere i wanted to smile.
He holded my hand,the touch was like the first time then he brought me in hall to show me that he bought a new flower pot.I still remember that day.
I laugh a lot.Because he did not know how to buy flower pot.It was very expensive.
Then I realised that even if he did not know he bought it just to bring a smile on my face.We both laughed as kids.This is called love.When you patch up after a quarel.
Whenever our couple is in any sort of trouble we sit and talk but before it was not like that.We used to get annoyed for many days and gradually we met an adviser who advised us to talk a lot to each other after a quarel and find out what was the real cause and then both can find a solution.
He said in order to get a good sleep every day we should talk about any things which are troubling us.After finding a solution then we can get to bed peacefully.
It did work.And we are happy.But both partners should contribute to make the relationship progress.They should both give time to each other and talk about something which are bothering them.
You are right.when you bury your anger it is then that your couple is in danger.better spank it out on him/her if the latter is the cause then you are more bound to find a solution rather than remaining angry.
Yeah gotta better quarel than sit idle when you are angry at her then a good time together on bed will make the paradise.
If love is communicated then anger also should be communicated.
Is this the reason you and your boyfriend quarel? To live longer..haha
No to quarrels and fights.Where ther is true love and feelings there must be no fights and quarrels.mild discussions are ok.Where there are fights, anger and yelling and shouting all the time means thereis no LOVE.Life is hell......that my opinion.and in hell life indeed seem very long!
Thats so rightly said..Men really R alien..U simply cannot understand what is going on in their head!!!We always fight bt somehow our love is stronger than the rest..Everything else doesnt matter..
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